Well this is mamas little Chickpea the one behind all the vomiting and feeling dreadfull .Had my scan at 14wks as i was far too lazy to get round to registering with the midwife and also wanted to put off receiving the inevitable news that I'm not allowed a homebirth (had a c-section with Daisy who was undiagnosed breech) and to make matters worse i have to give birth on the consultant unit and be monitored through labour which rules out my back up plan of a hospital waterbirth not even sure how much of a active birth i can have while attached to a monitor !
After my meeting with the midwife i felt pretty down and fearful that i would have a similar birth experience as i did with Ben which to cut a long birth story short was not the experience i had hoped for with impatient midwifes telling me to 'be quiet'and 'shhhh' and telling me off when my water broke on their nice clean floor and while i was pushing the midwife chatted about job cuts and anal pads and held my legs down and made me feel a big inconvenience.
So after getting over my initial panic and disappointment I'm starting to feel better about it mainly due to something i read the day before in the latest issue of The Mother magazine (big thanks to Gina for recommending this wonderful magazine X) it was a article written by a Doula Keeley farrington and in the article she writes about how she encourages women to 'dream their birth' and 'build vivid mental pictures of the best birth imaginable' and quotes the saying "that which you must have, must first be dreamed" which has really helped me stay positive and instead of imagining the worst has helped me focus on the peaceful birth id love to have and will have :)
Ah hello little chickpea, how lovely to see you,xx i felt much the same as you , with Thomas it was a similar experience but with Reuben i held on at home till the last minute and went in there and told them exactly what "I" wanted not them .I had visioned my labour and in doing that gave myself the power to call the shots as it were x
ReplyDeleteThis post made me want to cry..... How is it that there are still midwives out there that treat women this way, it is totally unacceptable and makes my blood BOIL!!! Sorry but I am hoping to do the midwifery degree next year am quite passionate about this!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that anything is possible and you must look around carefully before you choose your next midwife. Look for somebody who wants exactly the same thing that you do.
A friend of mine lost her first baby who was removed via C section, she then had her second baby via C section and has just deivered her 3rd baby vaginally with no drugs whatsoever! She was told time and time again that she could not do this, but she stuck to her guns.
I only tell you this story to give you hope, I do not know your whole situation and perhaps a C section will be essential, but it can still be a beautiful birth, fitting of such a beautiful mama... X
hello little chick pea, wonderful to see you and huge ccongratulations xxx
ReplyDeleteNow Keeley is a lovely friend of mine, so am sending her over to your little place on the web right now xxx
Hi there, I have been sent your way :0)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your pregnancy.
How lovely to read that the article helped you find some peace and focus. Building the vision will help you to find your power in birth and it will fill you and your little chickpea with reassuring warmth and the knowledge that all will be well. This will help to carry you a long way along your path to birth. May this one be a kinder journey for you x x
Please get in touch if you'd like to talk through anything. My details are inside front cover of T.M on my ad for the Red Thread Mothers Circle.
With brightest blessings, Keeley x