My poorly Ben has a ear infection so today we went to our new Doctors and we got given a bottle of yucky yellow banana antibiotics which hopefully will help as hes not sleeping very well .
this is the clean up operation after making some fairy cakes the important job of licking the spoons :)
Poor 'olly' that i made for Daisys 1st birthday got a wash in the washing machine and silly mummy forgot her hair was pure wool ! so now 'olly' has some rather funky dreadlocks :)I have been feeling alot happier and started sleeping better and not having horrid dreams yay :) on sunday i met up with some of my friends i went to school with ,which was just what i needed they were so lovely and cheered me up :)
Andy wanted to meet up with me and the children so yesterday i stupidly decided to meet him with the pixies .
I dont know why i kind of expected it but seeing he had taken his wedding ring off upset me alot but i was determined not to get angry or cry about anything as i didn't wan to ruin the day for the pixies who were really happy and excited to see their daddy .
We went for something to eat at a restaurant with a big soft play area and watching Andy playing with the pixies and seeing how happy my babies were broke my heart and i couldn't help crying, i wanted to scream at him 'how could you do this to us?'
Going home on the bus i had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying.
The whole day was one big and very painful reminder of the life me and the pixies have lost .
I will defiantly not be meeting up with him again i feel like im back to square one again crying over silly things and not sleeping well and had the most horrid dreams last night :(
Got a really hard day ahead on Saturday as me and my dad and brothers are moving all our stuff out of our house in Stoke . Its going to be very upsetting packing up 7yrs of my life but im looking forward to having my craft stuff back and my books .
Fingers crossed i don't spend all Saturday in tears x
Oh Lucy cry your heart out honey, better out than in, your children will already be sensing that things are different and showing them your emotions will help them with being able to deal with their emotions and know that it is ok to cry. Sending a big bundle of hugs to you. You are being so strong.
ReplyDeletesending you such love x poor ben , poor Olly ( although i think she looks very groovy !) and poor you x time is a great healer isnt it , i know everyone says it but it is true and you were so brave to meet with him so soon x hope you are starting to smile a bit more xx
ReplyDelete'Olly is rockin' honey - defo the coolest dolly on the block!
ReplyDeleteRe the him-that-shall-not-be-mentioned situation - bad stuff. I feel so much for you, having been there myself, but minus children.
You're doing so great. Let mum and dad take cxare of you for a while and concentrate on you and those pixies for a while. Healing is hard and hurtful but it will happen for you.
Sending you a huge welcome-back-to-Lancy hug and love, honey.
xxxx
Massive huge hugs for you...I know how horrible it is...but yay you will get your crafty stuff back tho! :)
ReplyDeletexx
Just wanted to send you a massive hug and some strength too. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeletePS. that doll looks very very cool xx
Sending hugs to you, keep strong for you and your pixies.
ReplyDeleteLoving Olly!